


As Long As You Are Happy

by ready_to_kick_some_ass



Series: Season 6 Fics [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Episode: s06e02 Window of Opportunity, F/M, Reunion, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 21:31:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18881653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_to_kick_some_ass/pseuds/ready_to_kick_some_ass
Summary: Fitz discovers the ring Jemma is wearing on a necklace and comes to the wrong conclusions. (Season 6, Episode 2 Spoilers)





	As Long As You Are Happy

Jemma is crying. She clings to him firmly and he holds her, roaming his hands over her back, her shoulders, murmuring her name like a mantra. “Jemma. Jemma …”

His heart and mind are filled with endless joy because she is _here_. But at the same time, he is confused. Because … isn’t he supposed to follow her into the future? To find her and the team, to do whatever is necessary to prevent what Enoch calls an “extinction-level event”?

But now they are crouching on the floor of a storeroom on this horrible overwhelming mess of a planet named Kitson, and Jemma looks at him in a way she has never done before. Desperate and relieved, sad and glad. A confusing combination of emotions fills the space around and between them.

Fitz doesn’t understand and he doesn’t even know if he _wants_ to understand. At the moment, he just wants to feel Jemma’s heavenly warm presence and share her breaths and hold her forever. He missed her so much ...

But eventually, she leans back to take some deep breaths, rubbing her red-rimmed eyes. That’s when Fitz sees it. The fine chain around her neck. It’s a necklace. With a ring connected to it. Fitz blinks. In a single heartbeat a thousand thoughts shoot through his mind, but he can’t catch a single one of them.

He stares at the chain and the ring and feels … he doesn’t know what he feels. “Jemma?” He asks, vaguely noticing how blank his voice sounds.

Jemma looks at him. Realization fills her eyes, when she notices what he’s staring at. She reaches for the ring, running her fingers over it in a tender gesture that seems familiar to her, like she did that a thousand times before. “Oh. I … Fitz, there’s something I’ve got to tell you,” she says quietly, voice almost breaking.

Something I’ve got to tell you …

_Oh._

Fitz lowers his head, unable to meet her teary eyes a single moment longer. His stomach clenches. So, that’s it. She found someone else. Somehow, the team found a way to get back into the past without him and she met someone while he was gone, frozen in space. Someone who didn’t point a gun at her. Someone who didn’t put everyone's lives at risk. But most importantly, someone who is not damaged. Someone who is not … _broken_.

It hurts. A lot. Feels like his heart is torn into pieces. But, he reminds himself and his breaking heart, what counts most, is Jemma’s happiness. He notices now, that she’s also wearing a ring on her finger. He guesses the Someone gave his ring to her so she could wear it in space, to have something of him with her because he couldn't accompany her. It makes sense, doesn't it. Oh, how it hurts to think of Jemma sharing a connection with someone else. Everything inside him feels numb at the images forming in his head. He doesn’t want this. But he doesn’t own her. And he most certainly doesn’t deserve her.

It seems like he's about to pay for his sins after all.

He looks up at Jemma, who studies him, still touching the ring nervously. “It’s alright,” he tells her, his voice hoarse. “As long as you are happy …”

Jemma frowns. She shakes her head. “Fitz … whatever you’re thinking right now, I assure you, it’s different. Look …” She reaches for his hand and takes it into her own, warm one, squeezing lightly. “This ring, it’s … it’s yours, Fitz.”

“What?” Fitz asks incredulously. He certainly must have misheard. “How …”

Jemma smiles. A lost tear is running over her cheek down to her chin. It drips on their intertwined hands. “It’s yours. What happened … it’s complicated and a mess and not fair at all – but the ring is yours.”

Fitz slowly shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”

“I know. I … I’m going to tell you everything,” Jemma says and a shadow of pain flicks over her eyes. “I won’t keep anything from you.”

She starts to explain. Fitz listens.

Her voice breaks sometimes. Her eyes fill with tears now and then. She holds his hand the whole time.

She tells him how they got to the future. Tells him about the Kree and the true believers. About Fitz's sudden appearance and their escape. The Lighthouse and the fear dimension. Ruby Hale, cutting Yo-Yo’s arms off. Coulson’s worsening state.

But after a row of horrible confusing frightening things, she says, “And we got married, Fitz.”

His eyes widen and his jaw drops. “We did?”

“Yes. We married in a artificial forest under the Lighthouse,” she says, smiling weakly. “It was wonderful.” The next moment her smile fades and she reaches for the ring again, holding on to it.

Fitz starts to understand where this might be leading to. At some point, he must have existed twice. He can’t quite believe it, but it’s the only logical explanation for this. Jemma married his future self who travelled with her to the past. Where is this version now? He asks himself and already knows the answer. The first thing he feels about it is anger at himself. He left Jemma alone. He wants to tell her he’s sorry, but she continues talking and she tells him about _Deke_.

“My _grandson_?” Fitz echoes aghast. “Are you serious?”

Jemma smiles. “Yes. He’s our grandson. And you will meet soon, I hope.” She sighs and rubs her face. Suddenly, she looks very tired. What she tells him next, cuts right into Fitz’s heart. No, he thinks, feeling numb. This was what he was scared about in prison … The Doctor being more than just a spiteful voice in the back of his mind.

Daisy. God, Daisy. That’s why she looked at him like this when they found him in the casino, rescuing him right before he was dragged into a life in slavery. The expression in her eyes a combination of careful joy and helpless fear.

_Oh God …_

He feels sick.

Jemma rubs her thumb over the back of his hand and he feels a sudden urge to pull it away. How can she even stand looking at him now? If his future self was capable of doing something like that to Daisy of all people – the woman who is like a sister to him – how can she be sure he won’t do something like that eventually? He has troubles to breath when a wave of self-hatred and desperation threatens to overwhelm him.

Jemma notices. Of course she does.

“Hey,” she says and cups his face, making him look at her. “I know this is hard for you. But you should know, that … that things were difficult back then. The world was about to end, Fitz. We were so desperate … Everyone was on the edge.”

“But no one else cut into Daisy,” he says barely audible, the shame a raging fire inside his heart. “No one else … How, Jemma? How could I do that …”

“You were struggling with a lot, Fitz. And I hate to admit this, but we didn’t really notice. You weren’t sleeping or eating and … and you were trying so hard to solve the problem, Fitz. You weren’t kind to yourself. You didn’t tell anyone that you were hearing The Doctor and when you had to make an impossible choice – you broke under the pressure. And I’m so, so sorry, Fitz ..."

“Still,” he says, shaking his head. “It doesn’t excuse torturing Daisy. Oh God, she must be traumatized.” He closes his eyes, the pain is overwhelming. How? How did he change into someone who would do something like this to a loved one?

“Maybe you can talk to her sometime,” Jemma tells him softly. “She … she was the first one who told me she wants to go on this journey with me to find you. And after …” She swallows. “After you died … she was heartbroken.”

So his former premonition was right. He swallows. “How did it happen?”

“You helped saving Mack and Polly. Together with May. The building was … it was unstable and a part of it collapsed. You were hit by debris …” She stops, her eyes welling up again.

Fitz doesn’t know how to feel. To hear about his own death is … it’s disturbing. He looks at Jemma and sees her closing her fingers around the ring, grabbing it tightly. She's still mourning, he realizes.   “I’m sorry,” he tells Jemma. “I’m sorry I caused you so much pain.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Fitz. The team was there for me. They were always there. And when I … when I looked at the postcard of the Lighthouse you left for us, I realized you’re still out there. Sleeping. We went to space and searched for Enoch's ship. And now we're here."

“You crossed the universe for me,” Fitz says quietly.

Jemma nods. “Yes. Like you did for me. The universe can’t stop us, can it?” She smiles weakly.

Fitz hums and looks at the ring again. “I prepared a speech,” he says. He missed his own wedding. The universe has a strange sense of humour.

Jemma strokes a finger over his cheek. “I know. When you’re ready … I mean, when you want to, we can get married again.” She sounds hopeful. But at the same time a bit scared. Like she fears he would say no.

Fitz chews on his lip. It feels like the things he has just learned are going to crush his mind ... It's too much. "I ... I think I need time," he says carefully. "To ... to process."

Jemma squeezes his hand. "Of course. All the time you need, Fitz. All the time _we_ need. Just please ... please know that you can talk with me about everything. Just like I can talk to _you_ about everything. Don't hold anything back, Fitz. You're never a burden."

Fitz nods slowly, feeling grateful. “And ... what comes next?” He asks Jemma.

She leans forward to kiss him, her lips soft and warm on his. He puts his hand on the back of her head and kisses her back. It feels desperate. They’re clinging to each other like they were each other’s life raft on the ocean.

When they part Jemma whispers, “Whatever we do next, we do it together.”

Fitz nods and takes her hand. That sounds good. He still feels heavy with all the new facts about a life he didn't even experience. He fears what's inside his head now even more. He wants to do something about it. _Needs_ to do something. And he knows it's going to be a long way until he can say he's alright, but he feels like they can do this.

“Let’s never leave each other’s side again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker and always grateful for being corrected! I'm constantly trying to improve my English, so please don't hesitate to tell me about mistakes. <3
> 
> Visit me on tumblr: [ready-to-kick-some-ass](https://ready-to-kick-some-ass.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
